Shadows of the Unknown
by Psycho Goddess
Summary: An x5 guardian reflects on what they're doing now. A lot of angstlike (but not quite angst itself) writing. It's hard to summarize. Anyways, later chapters will have a whole lot of unique storylines that explore the lives of the escapees and how they're


Disclaimer: No, I don't own Dark Angel, and no I didn't think this was a good idea. You can take it up with my drama teacher if this story bothers you. I was forced into writing a monologue, and decided to make sure I did it by making it DA. It's an x5 monologue, pretty... weird, I guess you could say.  
  
I'm actually planning on writing more (if I get good reviews), a combination of the character's monologues and actual "action" sequences. Ass kicking optional, I guess you could say. Anyways, whatever, I really, really, really love to get reviews. I'm a little bit of a "shy" personality, and it means a lot to me when people say they like something I worked hard on. I know my stories aren't great, but I do not want flames. Constructive criticism is always great though, and it can really help me...which in the long run helps you because you may not have to sit through really bad stories anymore.  
  
Anyways, a huge shout out to Hilary for betaing this story-it meant a lot and it really helped. Thanks, I wub you, and all that other crap. ;) Also, thanks to Ash for the idea for the title. And thanks to all the people that have put up with me when I have writer's block.  
  
  
  
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So here I am again, isolated from them.  Just because I don't sleep. Shark DNA, or so I've been told. Jhondi was the same way.  Max too, but Jhondi . . . Jhondi was worse. We used to stay up all night, sometimes just listening to the rhythmic breathing of the others. That's what made us want to leave. Zack may argue he started it, but we dreamed about it for years, and it hung in the air as we waited for sleep to take over. Blissful sleep where we could imagine that we were anywhere else but here. When Zack found out, it seemed too good to be true. I heard it happened because of one of Max's seizures. It's not surprising. She was always the favourite. But she wasn't that great, not really  
  
I saw Zack today. He looked right past me, like I was just another girl. I can't blame him, I'm supposed to be dead. Murdered in cold blood by the Colonel- a nomaly. Am I? Sometimes I wonder. I look just like everyone else, but I'm not. Out here, I'm the freak. The others don't see me either. I'm just a nameless face in the sea of people trying to get by in this broken world. But I'm here by choice, making sure they're all okay.   
  
Most of them are. Syl and Krit are happy. Maybe not perfect, but happy. They've learned to take it all in stride. Must be the fact the world has gotten a lot less accepting lately. Society isn't too fond of freaks it seems. But to us, they are the freaks, the weirdoes, the ones who seem too different to accept. Love is something for my siblings to hold onto, something that they can lean back on when things get rough. I'm glad for them. Syl and Krit are the only ones of the original escapees the made it alright in this world.  
  
Tinga. She got a little too close, emotionally attached to someone who couldn't be like her. Humanity made her vulnerable. Family was always her weakness, from the day we had our first training excursion. But I won't think about that.  Zane's got it figured out. He's got Demon and Boom to keep him company. Two giants German Shepherds, loyal dogs to stay by his side, even when he's on the run. A person will go crazy without something to embrace. But people are fragile, hard to replace. Jhondi learned that the hard way.  A desperate act of love left her all alone again. Holding on against the wind, you have to let go sometime.  Zack and I, we're the same. It's about the others. The ones like us. But I never went as far as Zack. Because he was too busy pretending to be big brother, but I saw the way he looked at Max. There was nothing big brother about it.  
  
The signs were there from the start with Ben. The way he'd always disappear into the church, his childhood fantasies. But I was so worried about taking caer of myself I didn't pick up on them. Only a nomaly could make up such majestic stories. I still have the card he gave me, he always made sure I had it. Said that the Lady liked me, that I was special. But I'm not. I'm just another freak on the loose. I'm sorry Ben, you were always too beautiful. I heard that at a funeral once, the corny line that is whispered in a vain attempt to bring comfort. "He's with the angels now". Yeah, sure he is. He tried, really, Ben tried. But he couldn't make it. The world was too frightening a place. No order, just panic. Fear. Hate. Rejection. It got to him. And I stood helplessly by.  
  
There are the others too, existing, but never quite reaching the state of living. Amy and Lexa live on a little farm in Canada, with a couple of dogs and a horse. They look so much alike, people believe that they really were sisters that were orphaned at a young age. I just wish that they'd kept a low profile. Kept to the big cities, where it's easy to hide, to blend. But they have to make their own mistakes. It's part of being human.   
  
Max. My sole weakness. I want to hate her for everything she's done, for every chance she's wasted. I see her some days, moping about the fact that her and Logan can not touch. Why does she think that he cares? I've seen the way he looks at her, like she's the only one in the room. But she's stubborn. Says that she's too dangerous. I try to keep them alive. I whisper secrets into his ear when he sleeps. I tell him magnificent stories. And I always remind him that she tries. I tell him to look in her eyes when she tells him it's over.  I hope he hears me. I can't let another one of us go down in the name of love.  
  
My life has been so uneventful next to theirs. Father took me when I was 6, the special one. He tried to take Max too. But Lydecker- he played favourites . When his Max was sick, he stayed in the infirmary with her. Dad couldn't get in to take her. He always regretted that, and hated me for it. I know he'd rather have had Max. Everyone would rather have Max. But he made do with me. Training was rigorous, he pushed so hard. He never would have done this to Max. But it made me strong, and when the time came he learned that you do not mess with me. Raven.  
  
  
  
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Anyways, review if you managed to stomach this far, and tell me if you want more. And if you don't, tell me what made it bad. Thanks. :) 


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